Hello Chicken
This is a distant relative of Hello Kitty, born of necessity when one Immediate Female Ancestor went to visit neighbours for a drink, leaving her offspring to fend for themselves.
To make your own Hello Chicken, prepare a bed of lemon slices, garlic and rosemary. Place on top one dead chicken. Deposit more lemon slices, garlic and rosemary where you see fit. We went for points of strategic interest such as the inner cavity and armpits. Secure the perimeter with slices of tomato and onion. Massage the chicken with olive oil and sprinkle salt and pepper to taste. Roast as per standard operating procedure. Can’t go wrong.
Garden
When we first went to buy seedlings for the new garden bed, the lady at the nursery told us that the middle of the wet season is not the best time to plant. However, as far as I’m concerned, there was plenty of time to get one round of plants in before it dries up – not to mention that I wanted to see the benefits of my efforts! Here’s a summary of what’s happened:
- Corn grew fast for about four weeks before developing a fungal leaf infection (leaves turned brown and died). Attempts to control the infection, as researched on the internet, failed. First bi-carb soda, then with a milk dilution.
- Tomatoes also developed leaf rot, but it’s not fatal yet. I’m investigating a solution that involves using ash from the wood stove.
- Basil has developed quickly. Pesto?
- Eggplant are healthy and have just gone to flower
- Bok Choy matured from seedlings in little over a month
- Beans, originally intended to climb the corn stalks as per the three sisters method, have been orphaned on a bamboo trellis.
- Lettuce has gone to seed quickly, but not without providing a couple of salads’ worth of leaves.
- Capsicum have not grown much, but they look healthy nonetheless.
The companion planting scheme as orchestrated by Denise employs marigold (to repel parasitic worms in the plants) and nasturtium (supposedly to attract insect predators). Rocks, placed in sunny spots, are supposed to attract lizards. Wikipedia, the internet’s most reputable source, hosts comprehensive lists of repellent and companion plants. Indeed, I have noticed a number of spiders living amongst the vegetables, as well as the occasional ladybug or stick insect. The overhead net was removed to allow avian access – specifically to a couple of willy wagtails. The chickens have not taken much of an interest in the garden since we ousted out two weeks ago.
Although caterpillars sometimes require manual intervention, grasshoppers have been under control with the help of a home-made garlic spray. Chop half a bulb of garlic in a blender. It’s easiest to add some water as you do this. Pour the solution into a plastic water bottle and fill to the top; set aside to soak for two or three days. Strain the garlic out and sprinkle it around the garden. Add to the garlic-water a drop each of oil and dishwashing liquid, to help the solution spread over and adhere to leaves. Apply with a spray bottle.
A lot of my horticultural tips are sourced from websites concerned with growing dope. For example, I’ll search for “snapped stem” and be directed to some guy lamenting at the injuries sustained by one of his ‘ladies’ – and being instructed how to heal the plant with a wire frame. And to think that my government wants to censor such a valuable resource! I don’t look forward to the day when I have to justify what I read.
The first garden was so successful that we decided to build another one. This time, most plants were grown from seed: asian greens, carrot, parsley, onions and more tomatoes. There’s going to be so much choy in a month, but I’ll be gone by then. Interesting to note that the logs we used to build the garden are sprouting leaves, which are being ripped off on a regular basis.
DIY Laptop Repair
So I woke up one morning and my laptop wouldn’t turn on. I immediately considered the worst: overnight power surge? Short circuit caused by a tresspass of insects? Inundation of frog pee? The problem was soon narrowed down to the power circuitry, as suggested by the light on the power brick. I decided to investigate for evidence of the above.
Having completely disassembled the laptop, no evidence of damage was found. Three hours later, it was all back together again. It still wouldn’t turn on. Time to read the manual. I followed directions from the manufacturer’s website which prescribed a silly-looking set of directions. Hold this button. Unplug the cable. Hold it down again. Remove battery… I’m pretty sure the goal was to reset the internal power circuitry. And it worked – three hours of goose chase was called off with a two minute solution. Shows why you should always RTFM, I suppose.
One minor glitch, though. During my mediocre repair efforts, an internal ribbon cable was creased. I decided to pull it out and test if it was still functional. Here’s an alternative to checking wiring with a multimeter: construct a circuit containing a battery, light bulb (hint: both are found in a torch), aluminium cooking foil and thumb tacks. Hold down the ribbon with blue tac. Probe the individual strands with the pins on each end (connected to the circuit with the foil), and if the ribbon is fine the bulb will light up each time.
